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Ponce De Leon Vs. The Risible Shuck Of Authenticity

from Gormful In Maya by Ford Pier

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    Fifty numbered "handmade" copies with lyric sheet, signed (woo-woo!) and personalized with a single word from The Book of Thomas The Contender. All fifty copies, in order, reproduce the Savior's reply to the question "Lord, why does this visible light that shines on behalf of men rise and set?"(139, 25-31). Money donated for the CD will go to the DTES Response Fund to assist in preventing the spread of Covid-19 in Vancouver's most disadvantaged neighborhoods. We do not ship to Australia.

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    Comes in an eco-pack with... um, credits? Song titles?

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lyrics

Happy days are here again, I’m bleeding out my ass
Apparently food is the new thing, but I’m sure this too will pass
A conoisseur’s palate and $2.28’ll getcha a gallon of gas
So it’s out the cloaca, into the sewer
Out with the older, in with the newer
Ah, hahahaha

I dabbled in mysticism and got lost amongst the runes
Sacred numbers and the zombi cucumber but I never bent any spoons
I can’t shake the sound of the chanting, but I don’t remember the tunes
So it’s on with the kicking out of the jams
But by the pricking of my hams
Something wicked this way wobbles
And it wobbles because it’s lame
And it’s lame because it hasn’t got a leg to stand on
‘Cause the both of its legs are game
That’s game like a zero-sum game
And that sum is the sum of all fears
I can feel it in the hair on the back of my neck
I can feel it in the hair on the back of my ears

But the post-punk-partum depression impresses me less than the message’s failure to move
It’s the sheeple vs. the nanny state - what’s with all the cloven hooves?
I’ll always remember that dope sick beat, but I can’t recall any grooves
So it’s off with the gloves and on with the show
And down with the settling, up with the growing
Oh, hohohohobiminibminibimini…

This is a transaction, not a performance
This is a morpheme, not a word
This is a secret you’ll carry ’til you’re dead and you’re buried
Spoken just loud enough to be heard
That’s heard like a herd that’s immune
That’s immune like immune to my charms
I can feel it in the hair on the back of my neck
I can feel it in the hair on the back of my arms

Happy days are here again, I’m buying local sourced
From a pop-up Mom-And-Pop Op op, but Mom and Pop divorced
So they handed it off to their foolish heirs whose folksy airs seem forced
So it’s out of the blue and into the onyx
Up with the spirits, and DOWN with the tonics
Down with the tonics

Happy days are here again

credits

from Gormful In Maya, released September 25, 2020
Barry Mirochnick: snare drum
Jason Zumpano: snare drum

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Ford Pier Vancouver, British Columbia

Ford: v.t. to cross by wading (Webster)
Pier: n. a disappointed bridge (Joyce)

Ford Pier has a rock band called The Vengeance Trio and a string quartet called Strength Of Materials. There's ten or eleven albums of this stuff, and more on its way. You just watch. ... more

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